Mental Health Matters!

Mental health and well-being has turned out to be my life's passion and purpose. Like everyone else on the planet, I have struggled with my mental well-being at times, especially when life has been challenging.  I particularly struggled in my late teens and early twenties when everything about life just seemed too hard to cope with. In reality the circumstances of my life were not all that bad. Yes, like many teenagers I struggled with my developing sense of self, felt the loneliness of being a student away from my family and home environment, had my heart broken a few times and had friends die far too young. But many people experience far worse and remain well and positive throughout.

It was my lack of understanding, knowledge and skills that really caused my mental health problems, combined with my inability to talk about it even, or especially, to mental health professionals. My lack of emotional wisdom and my 'pull yourself together' conditioning were the problem, rather than life itself. I have spent a life-time since then unlearning that conditioning, acquiring that understanding, knowledge and emotional wisdom as well as the practical skills that have enabled me to protect and enhance my mental health and well-being throughout all of life's many challenges. Like many others, over the years I have developed practical strategies, new attitudes of mind,  and skills that combine together to form a personal 'wisdom' that now sees me through whatever life throws at me. And it has been my absolute privilege to have developed a career in supporting others to do the same.

For more on this subject, see my page Let's Talk About Mental Health by just clicking on the link.

So, I'll share with you just a few of the books that helped me and literally hundreds of people I have worked with over the years. These are all global best-sellers and are still up there on my favourites list!

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff   

I first came across this little gem in the late 1990s when I was a stressed out single, working Mum of two teenage boys! How I wished I had come across it sooner! It transformed my life for the better, like many millions more throughout the world, selling over 8 million copies. You can still get various versions of it quite cheaply if you don't mind a second hand copy in good condition. Try this link for a few options Don't sweat the small stuff. Or try your library who will almost certainly have it.

In very short, easy to read little sections, Dr Richard Carlson PhD offers simple insights to help us stop letting the small things in life drive us crazy and to live calmer, more contented lives. It certainly helped me to survive those years of single-parenthood, highly challenging work in mental health, financial worries etc! And so very many of the people, with all kinds of mental health issues and challenging situations, that I have worked with over the years, right up to the present day, have sampled my copy and been inspired to buy their own. I still live by this simple but effective philosophy every day.

In another very readable and powerful little book,  Stop Thinking, Start Living  Dr Carlson outlines in more detail how our thoughts determine how we feel. As I and very many others have come to know from our own life experiences, it is not the circumstances of our lives that cause us to suffer, struggle or fall into depression but the way we think about those experiences. If we can change our negative thinking, and we absolutely can, we can live more contented lives - no matter what age we start! And that does not mean having a 'Pollyanna' positive attitude that denies what is actually happening or how we feel about it. It does mean dealing constructively with life, taking control of our negative thoughts and developing a balanced approach to whatever is happening in our lives - all of which are essential to mental health and well-being. 

The Power of Optimism  

I first bought my copy of this book The Power of Optimism by psychotherapist Dr Alan Loy McGinnis in 1991. It has been much read over the many years since then, especially in times of struggle. And many more copies have been bought for family, friends and clients over the years - the most recent being only last week for a client who loves it's practical wisdom. (She now also uses copies of the previously mentioned books by Carlson, all of which are supporting her in living a more contended and joyful life after many years of depression.) Once again, this book is not about always hoping for the best but it is about developing the capacity to face life's challenges and struggles with a real, genuine and positive attitude, to make the most of it all, to get back up when life knocks us down - and to learn how to ride the roller coaster of life so that we keep getting back on!!  

'By the time I reached the age of 60, life had taught me that things turn out for the best for the people who can make the best of the way things turn out' says one of the reviewers of the book, which echoes the experience of many, including myself. Based on and illustrated with the challenging life experiences of many of his mental health clients, McGinnis outlines, in a common sense and inspiring way, practical strategies for dealing with life's ups and downs and coming through positively, with our well-being and wisdom enhanced.

Other helpful resources.

The NHS has some useful free resources to boost positive mental well-being in an area of their website called the NHS Moodzone

Here you can find a section called Living Life to the Full (LLTTF) with free resources and some little books that cost around £2.50 each. Click this link LLTTF to find out more.

So, look after yourself, enjoy life's simple pleasures and keep dancing!

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Ikigai - what's yours?

This is a little gem of a book! 

On the Japanese island of Okinawa people live longer and have fewer diseases than anywhere else in the world. Longevity studies strongly suggest that these 'super centenarians' have a few significant things in common. The famously healthy Japanese diet and daily practice of gentle exercise, mostly tai chi and yoga, throughout life play an important part. A strong sense of community and active involvement in it, combined with a clear awareness of purpose, or ikigai, are also identified as significant factors that these Okinawans have in common.

Medical studies show that:

• Not only do these people live much longer than the rest of the world's population but they also have fewer chronic illnesses such as cancer and heart disease, The incidence of dementia is also well below the global average.
• Many of these super centenarians enjoy enviable levels of energy and vitality compared to elderly people elsewhere in the world.
• Their blood tests show they have fewer free radicals, which are  responsible for cellular ageing. Evidence suggest that this is due to drinking tea, particularly green tea, and eating until their  stomachs are only 80% full. 
• The Japanese belief that everyone has an ikigai, literally meaning a reason to jump out of bed each morning, also plays a key role in their health and longevity.

Fascinating and inspiring, this book identifies simple principles we can all use to live long, meaningful and contented lives. Science-based studies are beautifully woven into straight-talking conversations with real people sharing their real life experience.

I really identify with this idea of ikigai and am grateful that I found mine when in my 20s, albeit through struggling greatly with life and my mental health. My ikigai became my career and a life-long passion which still gets me out of bed in the morning even though I 'retired' years ago. My ikigai turned out to be making a positive difference to those struggling with their own mental health, in my career as a counsellor, life coach, trainer and educational adviser on mental health support for students and, in my private life, as a mother, friend, neighbour. I may not earn my living that way anymore but, like the elder Okinawans, I live out my ikigai every day, by contributing whenever I can, making a difference, often in very small ways, as a volunteer, a friend, a neighbour. And I still do a bit of life coaching too. I loved my work so much I always said I would do it even if I wasn't paid - so now I do! What I know, from personal experience and from a career in mental health and well-being, is that both our mental and physical health depend on it! And this book demonstrates that with scientific evidence to back it up.

This little book has given me information and inspiration to continue to stay active despite being retired from payed work; to remain actively engaged with family, friends and in my community for as long as I can; to pursue my purpose, my ikigai, even as the years knotch up; to cherish and continue to take the best care I can of my mental and physical health. In fact, the evidence is that doing each of these things will help me to live a long, healthy and contented life. 

If you haven't found it already, find what you love, what gives you satisfaction and pleasure, what fills you with joy and gets you out of bed every day, and do that! Whether it be some form of volunteering, gardening, being out in nature, painting or creating something with your hands, contributing in some way to your community, being a good neighbour - the possibilities are endless.
Its never too late to live your purpose! 

And remember, keep on dancing!!