I'm a great believer in the benefits of kindness, not only for the recipients but also for ourselves and the communities in which we live. Kindness doesn't have to be time-consuming, newsworthy or complicated to be effective. In fact, many everyday acts of kindness are totally spontaneous and all the more beautiful for their simplicity! One of my favourites is letting someone go ahead of me at the supermarket checkout. It never fails to surprise and please the person who anticipated having to queue to pay for just a few items - and when I smilingly say 'my pleasure' I mean it. So they get a smile into the bargain!
Such acts may not be earth-shattering but one by one they are earth-changing! Each one makes a difference to someone at the time, sometimes in ways that we cannot see, and each creates a ripple effect as people are inspired to do their own bit to pass on the kindness shown to them. Imagine a country full of kind and courteous drivers for one thing! There would certainly be fewer accidents! The physical and mental health benefits of kindness are also well-documented. Click the link to see Why Kindness Is Good For You in my Books section.
So why aren't people talking more about kindness?
Unfortunately, in modern society, kindness seems to have a bit of an image problem! In our hurried lives with ever more pressures, people can become completely caught up in their own stuff and kindness can be seen as too much effort, a waste of precious time. And that's precisely why we all need more of it!! In these times of stress, of time and financial pressures, isolation and loneliness, simple little acts of kindness that take no real effort are all the more important and make even more difference. I was once in a supermarket queue behind a very obviously harassed Mum with two small children. She had popped in quickly for a few items, the kids were playing up and as she came to pay she realised she'd left her purse in the car. Faced with having to leave her purchases, go fetch the purse and start again, she looked about to burst in to tears. So, I paid for her shopping. It wasn't much money but I know how much that meant to her at that moment. Easy but so important!
Kindness may also suffer from the fact that it isn't the done thing to talk about it! I understand why that is, of course. We don't want people 'bragging' about their own kindness. But that shouldn't mean that we don't talk at all about the kind things people do. Sharing kindness is not the same as bragging; rather, it is a very important and positive antidote to many of the things that plague modern society, such as self-absorption, depression and loneliness. And a bit more positive stuff in the media would be a pleasant and much needed change!
Thank goodness (literally!) for all the books and organisations which actively promote kindness!
One story that really warms my heart is that of The Secret Gardener told in the 20th Anniversary edition byof Random Acts of Kindness A woman in America moved to a new home. For the first time she had a sizeable garden filled with roses, camelias, rhododendrons and lots of smaller plants and bushes and a lawn. She was overwhelmed and struggled to maintain it all. Sometimes, when she came home from work she thought, vaguely, that bits of it looked different. One day she came home from work and noticed the grass had been cut and all the edges precisely trimmed. She then realised that, for some time, someone had been weeding, pruning etc while she was at work! Finally, one day she caught the culprit in the act - it was her 86 year old next door neighbour, Mr Okumoto. Seven years later, aged 93, Mr Okumoto was still tending her garden - and the one behind his house and the one on the other side of his own! This reminds me of the Japanese super centenarians in the book Ikigai (see my ikigai post and my books page) whose longevity is attributed, at least in part, to the fact that they all tend gardens/ allotments every day - if not their own, then someone else's!
Kindness is a very valuable life skill. So, I encourage you to be kind whenever you can, especially when driving! Teach your children and grandchildren to be kind. Not only will they help others, they will make the world a better place for them to live in and they will also lead happier lives as a consequence.
Below are things some others have said about the importance of kindness.
In February 2017, The Duchess of Cambridge said that teaching Prince George and Princess Charlotte kindness, honesty and respect is as important as academic or sporting success.
Sir Alex Ferguson, former manager of Man United, said 'Kindness is a universal language regardless of age, nationality or religion'
The Dalai Lama said 'Be kind whenever possible. And it's always possible.'
David Jamilly, founder of Kindness UK said 'Kindness and kind acts are what makes the difference between a 'me society' and a 'we community'. I love that one!
Noel Edmunds said ' Every act of kindness is a little bit of love we leave behind'. Love that too!
And being kind is one of those things that will make you happier and help you dance with life!
So, be kind, to yourself and others, and keep on dancing!
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